Skip to content

Posts from the ‘People’ Category

Feb 3

10 Comments

No. 132: Franglais

My swell friend Julie brought this hillarious Franglais story about the sexual scandal involving France’s President François Hollande, his (now former) First Girlfriend and the (now) First Girlfriend in Waiting. It is old news, but I came across it in my email box again tonight, and laughed so hard (encore), that I thought it was worth sharing. It first appeared in the Daily Telegraph on January 16, 2014.

Even for those of my readers who don’t speak a lick of French, you should be able to figure this out, and it will give you all a pretty good idea of the level of French that I (sadly) deal in on a daily basis. Amusez-vous!

hollande helmet

François Hollande est dans un spot de bother. Il est dans un pickle. Franchement, il est dans l’eau chaud. Selon un magazine français, le président a been having une affaire très steamy avec une femme improbably belle. Et hier, slap bang dans le middle de cette scandale, il devait give un grand press conference.

Quel luck rotten!

Quel luck rotten!

Mais il y avait un peu de bon news pour le pauvre homme: il est français. Et les français, apparently, ne care pas about les affaires steamy. En fait, un nouveau poll shows que depuis la scandale broke, le président a become plus populaire! En France, vous voyez, c’est seulement une scandale si un homme n’a pas une affaire.

En Paris, le press conference était complètement packed. En angleterre, les journalistes anglais ont regardé l’action à la télévision. Ils n’ont pas pu wait to écouter le gossip juicy about l’homme important et son bit sur le side.
En fin, le président – un petit fellow qui apparently a seulement un pair des chaussures – est arrivé. Pour once, il n’a pas porter son motorcycle helmet.

_72263022_hollande_getty

Sans further ado, il a commencé parler about l’économie. Il a parlé about it pour un très long temps. Cinq minutes, dix minutes, vingt minutes, trente minutes – tout sour l’économie!

Francois Hollande at his press conference.
C’était tout terribly intéressant, mais je n’ai pas pu help but feel qu’il y avait un éléphant dans la salle.

un éléphant dans la salle….

un éléphant dans la salle….

Mais still il a continué de parler about l’économie, et le banking, et le social security, et so on et so on. Zut alors! Monsieur le Président certainement avait beaucoup à dire about sujets that a rien to do avec le steamy hot shagging.
“Je suis desolé pour going into such detail,” a dit le président. Il est such un tease.

Finalement il a fini parler about son dratted économie. Donc! C’était temps pour some questions about les sujets plus importants, such as le hanky-panky! Naughty Monsieur le Président a been jouer au Cachez le Saucisse! Les journalistes français would avoir beaucoup de choses à dire about ça!

...les sujets plus importants, such as le hanky-panky...

…les sujets plus importants, such as le hanky-panky…

“Excusez-moi, Monsieur le Président,” a dit un petit journaliste, très politely, “mais pouvez-vous possiblement tell nous, si ce n’est pas trop much trouble, qui at le moment est la ‘Première Femme’?”

“Non, je ne jolly well could pas,” a dit le président.

Et ça, apparently, était ça. Pas de further questions sur le rumpy-pumpy. Les journalistes français just voulaient to ask about le silly économie. Quel waste de temps ça was.

Jan 30

10 Comments

No. 127: French Body Language

Lately I have been spending more time with a couple of French women. We try to speak French, but invariably we end up in English as they are far more fluent in my native tongue than I am in theirs. But it is still wonderful, and I feel like I am finally getting a small insiders view to what makes the French woman tick.

I have been secretly studying them, and trying to learn how to be a little more French, at least in my gestures, sounds and facial expressions. I find it very interesting because sometimes their gestures have completely different meanings from the same gesture in America, and sometimes they are gestures I’d never seen before moving to France.

Here are a few of my favorites that I am practicing en ce moment. I’m pretty sure most of these should only be used among friends.

*Ce n’est pas ma faute / Je n’en sais rien.

The French Shrug

These phrases usually accompanies the good old Gallic shrug—raised shoulders, raised eyebrows, lower lip thrust out, hands held up like you are being robbed. Meaning: It’s not my fault / I don’t know (how that happened).

 

 

C’est Nul!

thumbs downThis saying accompanies the American thumbs down gesture to indicate something is worthless, foolish or just plain bad.

Rien!*

Nul! This one might confuse Americans because for us it’s the A-OK gesture—as in making a circle with your index finger and thumb while your other three fingers stay up. In French body language this actually means zero, zip, nothing, and, I’m guessing, irrelevant.

 

 

J’ai du nez.*

Nose_TapThis is a saying I don’t hear very often, but I see this gesture a lot when French women are talking together. They tap their nose with their index finger and look mischievously in your eyes. This, I believe, means they are cunning and quick and have seen the truth faster than anyone else in the conversation. I adore this gesture. It always makes me smile.

 

Il a un verre dans le nez.

alcoholThis saying and gesture is for when someone you’re hanging out with has had a bit too much to drink. For comedic relief (or behind the drinkers back), you make a fist and hold it up in front of your nose, tilt your head and twist your hand. Try it out at your next party.

 

 

Chut! / Silence!

Silence!When you want some one to shut up or fermez-la, you can hold up your index finger in the air (not in front of your lips), and give a severe look to the people disturbing you. French teachers use this gesture frequently.

Du fric!

too expensive!If you are out shopping with your French girlfriends or even talking about shopping or buying something, you will hear this expression. It accompanies the holding out of your hand and rubbing your thumb across you fingertips. This specifies that something is too expensive for you, or you need the money to buy it.

Et enfin…

 

Victoire!

Victoire!I never actually hear women say, “Victoire!”, but I see this symbol all the time. This, of course, in America is the “peace sign” or is used to signifies the number 2, when ordering something, but in France it means victory or success in accomplishing something.

* Please see the comment section for a reader’s different interpretation of some of these gestures. I am very grateful for all your feedback and corrections. French, it isn’t easy for me!

Vocabulaire:

en ce moment: at the moment

Et enfin…And finally…

fermez-la: shut it, or shut up

Victoire! Victory!

Jan 30

2 Comments

No: 126: American Musical Theatre LIVE!

source: AMT Live! Paris

source: AMT Live! Paris

Our family life in Paris would not be the same without the joyful, dedicated and exciting organization: American Musical Theatre LIVE! Truly, they have been a lifesaver and creative safe-haven for my two daughters, in a city where this type of artistic expression is only beginning to get a foothold.

Raised by a jolly, crooning father and theatre loving mother, I grew up addicted to American musicals. While most of my peers were crushing on Bobby Sherman and David (and Sean) Cassidy, I was pining for Gene Kelly in his tight sailor jazz pants. Don’t even get me started on Yul Brynner in the King and I. Even today two of my favorite performers are Hugh Jackman and Neil Patrick Harris not because I like them in Wolverine and How I Met Your Mother, but because, at heart, they are truly song-and-dance men.

Not surprisingly, I have passed my love of musical theatre on to Kitcat and Button. Before her second birthday, Kitcat  had memorized Madonna’s Evita, Don’t Cry for Me Argentina…really. And, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, but by the time they were 8 and 5, they could sing the entire Cell Block Tango from Chicago with all the passion and anger of the original cast. At 10 and 7 they were regularly performing the Elephant Love Song Medley from Moulin Rouge for family and guests. So is it any surprise they are both actively pursuing their dreams of performing on Broadway or the West End?

Thankfully for both of them, but especially Button, we stumbled upon American Musical Theatre LIVE! on our second go-around in Paris. Co-founded by Miranda Crispin and John Florencio, two amazing artists and performers with a passion for American Musical Theatre, AMT LIVE! has been a godsend. They are the place to see contemporary off-Broadway musicals and cabaret concerts in Paris. And if you have the gumption and talent, they offer a musical theatre open mic soirées once a month. They are also available for professional, private coaching.

laurelzuckerman.com

The group’s mission “is to introduce and promote musical theatre, notably contemporary works, and to provide a forum for exchange between French and international performers.” It’s a great mission and one they work extremely hard at accomplishing.

AMT LIVE! regularly hosts talented and highly regarded Artists-in-Residence from around the world. Button has been fortunate enough to participate in several, the most exceptional being a master class with Tony nominated Benj Pasek and Justin Paul (Edges, A Christmas Story, the Musical; Dogfight, and James and the Giant Peach, A Musical). She was also cast in AMT LIVE!’s production of Edges in Paris last summer. It was a life changing experience and yet one more thing to love about our time in France.

The Premiere of EDGES in France, AMT Live!

The Premiere of EDGES in France, AMT Live!

Jan 26

13 Comments

No. 122: Ten French Proverbs Relevant to this almost 50-year-old

Grandville-Cent-Proverbs-1

  • Rien ne sert de courir, il faut partir à point.
    • Slow and steady wins the race.
    • “There’s no point in running, you have to leave on time.”
  • C’est en forgeant qu’on devient forgeron.
    • Practice makes perfect.
    • “It’s by forging that one becomes a blacksmith.”
  • Ce n’est pas à un vieux singe qu’on apprend à faire la grimace.
    • There’s no substitute for experience.
    • “It’s not an old monkey that one teaches to make faces.”
  • Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait.
    • Youth is wasted on the young.
    • “If youth knew, if old age could.”
  • Un chien vivant vaut mieux qu’un lion mort.
    • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
    • “A live dog is worth more than a dead lion.”
  • Il faut casser le noyau pour avoir l’amande.
    • No pain no gain.
    • “You need to break the shell to have the almond.”
  • Il ne faut jamais dire « Fontaine, je ne boirai pas de ton eau ! 
    • Never say never.
    • “You should never say, ‘Fountain, I will never drink your water!'”
  • Tourner sept fois sa langue dans sa bouche.
    • Think long and hard before speaking.
    • “To turn one’s tongue in one’s mouth seven times.”
  • L’habit ne fait pas le moine.
    • Clothes don’t make the person.
    • “The habit doesn’t make the monk.”
  • Qui vivra verra.
    • What will be will be.
    • “He who lives will see.”

And one extra that I wish was true…

  • Impossible n’est pas français…hmmmmm…Imposible isn’t French….mais, we all know, ce ne pas possible, non?  

Jan 24

12 Comments

No. 120: Chic Bicycle Helmets

Before I moved to Paris, I wore my bicycle helmet religiously. In fact we shipped all our helmets from the U.S. before we arrived. But Parisians are not big on wearing bicycle helmets when they commute to work or run errands, and since living here I have been totally swayed by the herd mentality, and rarely remember to wear mine, unless I’m going for a long weekend ride. There is something about the Vélib bike share program and being able to hop on and off a bike at will that makes me feel footloose and fancy free, and think, hey, I don’t need safety equipment.

I realize this is completely STUPID. And actually everyday when I hop on my vélo, I have the same passing thought, “I wonder if this is the day you will regret forever not wearing a helmet?”

Still I’ve become lazy and annoyed by the chore of lugging it around while je fais les courses, and as much as it shames me to admit it, wary of what Parisians will think about how I look.

Mais, the other day when I was out walking with Taz, I saw a family of three (mom, dad and teenage daughter) on their bikes with some very chic headgear. “Leave it to the French to make bicycle helmets pretty,” I thought, and went home to do some research.

When I opened my email, a monthly newsletter popped up, and one of the top features was this:

folding bicycle helmet closca turtle VERSIONS

Exactly the chic chapeaux the French family had been sporting. I took it as a sign. After more research, I discovered that not only did these helmets (by Closca) look good, but also they are collapsible and safety certified. Apparently I have been totally out of the loop. In most big cities around the world, collapsible bicycle helmets are the latest trend.

And guess what? This particular one is not designed by the French, but created by two Spanish entrepreneurs and design engineers.

Bien hecho! Y muchas gracias!

And I then I found these by Yakkay:

Don’t tell Superman. Who knows, maybe he will find a bicycle helmet cover obsession easier to relate to than a shoe obsession?

Which one do you like?

Vocabulaire

Bien hecho! Y muchas gracias! Well done! And thanks a lot!

Je fais les courses: I run errands; I do the shopping

vélo: bicycle

Jan 16

8 Comments

No. 114: Things I Never Thought I Would Eat but Have, or Might…

Some days I go to the outdoor marchés and marvel at all the weird and wonderful things on offer. Today was one of those days, as my friend and cooking teacher Marie-Françoise introduced me to a new French word: le tripier.

Le tripier is a very special kind of butcher, not the kind you go to to get your everyday ordinary cuts of meat. I’m not even sure there is a comparable word or profession in the U.S. The best definition I can come up with is the “tripe butcher”. For those of you who aren’t quite sure what tripe is, it’s the first or second stomach of a cow, oxen, sheep, goats or other ruminant that is used as food.

source: le blog de boulogne billancourt

source: le blog de boulogne billancourt

Mais le tripier doesn’t just specialize in stomach number 1 and stomach number 2, no, no, he has several refrigerated cases full of all sorts of animal parts you’ve probably never, ever considered eating.

rognon blanc…white kidneys

rognon blanc…white kidney

Mais les Français, ils mangent tout!

langue...tongue

langue…tongue

Or, as I heard in class today, “Tout est bon dans le cochon!” (All parts of the pig are good!)

pieds de porc...pigs' feet

pieds de porc…pigs’ feet

les oreilles de porc…pigs' ears

les oreilles de porc…pigs’ ears

museau de porc...pig snout

museau de porc…pig snout…usually served chopped in a vinaigrette

Le tripier not only supplies the home chef with ears, snouts, feet and stomachs, he also has a real “know-how”, a second sense if you will, and can provide his clients with detailed culinary advice on exactly how to cook these curious cuts, and how to eat it. If you get in good with the man, he’ll even save the crème de la crème of the bits and bops you never even knew you wanted.

Here is a small sample of what else you might find at a good tripier stall. It’s not for the faint-hearted.

Vocabulaire

crème de la crème: cream of the crop

le tripier: tripe butcher

Mais les Français, ils mangent tout! But the French, they eat it all!

marchés: outdoor markets; farmer’s market

Jan 14

12 Comments

No. 111: Learning to Laugh at Myself

I go through extreme ups and extreme downs when it comes to learning French. Some weeks I feel very confident and have great ego-boosting moments when I faire les courses, give proper directions to lost French tourists, or can have a solid conversation with my gardienne. But there are a lot of weeks, when I feel like a toddler trapped in a grown woman’s body just trying to be understood.

Learning French has been one of my biggest stumbling blocks over the last 5 years. I’ve studied hard and taken many classes. I listen to French on my iPod everyday. I keep journals of new vocabulary. I do lots of grammar worksheets. I’m fine on paper when I read and write, and I’m fine on understanding spoken French. But often when I speak, I completely freeze. My mouth dries up, my tongue gets tied, and my brain seems to go on holiday. It is a pattern I can’t seem to break.

Spoken French is the monkey on my back.

source: cheeeseburger.com

source: cheeeseburger.com

I just wish he would climb off and head back to the tropics!

2014 has to be the year that I finally stick to my resolution to stop being afraid of making mistakes and learn to laugh at myself.

Having been trying to make that resolution my mantra for the last 2 weeks, it was quite fortuitous that this (from my new favorite online teacher, Géraldine of Comme une Française TV ) showed up today, just as I was beating myself up about a rough exchange with Air France over the telephone.

Géraldine is great at making me realize I am not alone in my foibles and always encourages her students to shrug it off, chuckle at yourself, and keep on trying.

Give her newest video a lookie-loo and smile!

Five (Very) Embarrassing Mistakes from Comme une Française TV

  1. Je te baise ≠ I give/send you a kiss; it does mean: I (want to) f*ck you. It’s much better to say: je t’embrasse.
  2. Je suis excité(e) ≠ I’m excited for/to; it does mean: I am aroused. It’s better to say: J’ai hâte de… or je suis impatient al’idée de…(I’m looking forward to…)
  3. Une amie m’a introduit ≠ a friend introduced me to; It does mean: A friend inserted themselves in me. Better to say: Une amie m’a parlé de …
  4. Des préservatifs ≠ preservative; it does mean: condoms. Don’t ask your mother-in-law if there are préservatifs in her jam, better to say conservateurs.
  5. Je suis chaud ≠ I’m hot (temperature-wise); it does mean: I’m horny/I’m hot (for you) or very motivated. Remember to use: J’ai chaud instead.
A great website for learning everyday French: source: www.commeunefrancaise.com

A great website for learning everyday French: source: http://www.commeunefrancaise.com

Vocabulaire

Comme une Française: Like a French (woman), as in speak like a French woman; also a brilliant website to learn very practical French taught by a thoughtful but silly française.

gardienne: caretaker, the person (often a Portuguese woman) who watches over your apartment building

faire les courses: do the shopping, run errands

I love this website: http://www.commeunefrancaise.com do take a look!

I love this website:
http://www.commeunefrancaise.com do take a look!

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »